Latest Book Review: Confidence, by Roxie Nafousi

One area of work I have found myself more and more involved and immersed in is the area of helping people overcome imposter syndrome. A sufferer of it myself for many a year in my career, I never truly realised just how big a phenomenon this was until I started to work with people affected by it.

Yes, its true, many people dont suffer from this but lack of confidence and self-belief is remarkably common amongst people because we dont often get to see how people are truly feeling.

Imposter syndrome, or imposter phenomenon to give it its proper name, is the nagging inner voice that criticises a person constantly. They berate poor performance and consistently sow the seed of doubt leading people to limit their full potential and often not put themselves forwards for things.

All of this is something Roxie Nafousi is familiar with. Speaking in her book, Confidence, she shines a light on the many times her nagging inner voice held her back or shattered any glimmer of confidence and self-belief before one day banishing that voice for good.

Built around eight core actions people can take, this book is guidebook for discovering greater levels of confidence and self-belief. The eight things?

1. Master your thoughts - learn to take control of that nagging inner critic and make it your inner cheerleader instead.

   
   

2. Act with intention - in short, fake it til you make it. Push yourself to think and do differently so that they become newly embodied habits.

   
   

3. Stop trying to be liked by everybody - you won't be liked by everyone so just get used to that. Wanting to be liked by people changes our behaviour and changes our mindset - the sooner we accept that, the sooner we can become confident in who we are and what we bring to this world.

   
   

4. Break free from comparison - we compare ourselves to people in almost all areas of our lives and its incredibly detrimental to our confidence as well as our wellbeing. There is rough room for everyone to shine and not comparing ourselves to others is the first step in learning to allow yourself to shine.

   
   

5. Celebrate yourself - When we learn to accept who we are - strengths, differences, quirks and flaws alike - we give ourselves the freedom to celebrate who we are and what we bring to the world. Self-celebration isn't about believing we are perfect, its about recognising and appreciating our inherent worth.

   
   

6. Do hard things - Push yourself out of your comfort zone as much as you can. Courage isn't the absence of fear, its the willingness to act inspite of it. Only by embracing the fear and doing things anyway can we discover growth and expand our personal zone of comfort.

   
   

7. Be of service to others - When you pour into others you give yourself purpose. Learn to fill your own cup through filling the cup of others. In helping people feel valued, needed and respected a little of that same feeling rubs off on us and our feeling of self-worth and appreciation goes up.

   
   

8. Show up as your best self - Stand tall, smile, hold your head high, take up space, walk with intention. When we show up as the person we know we can be, we learn to be that person all of the time. celebrate who you are and what you bring to the world with courage, grace and authenticity.

We dont need to create confidence its simply there waiting to be untapped. Confidence teaches people to unlearn self-doubt and in its place claiming confidence that has been a person's all along. Its not about becoming someone new but becoming comfortable and confident in who you are.

As Nafousie concludes the book, "True confidence is knowing that your worth was never up for discussion: you are, and always have been, enough."