The most important goal of any conversation is to connect. The more people’s brains synchronize, the better they understand what is being said. The extent to which ‘neural-coupling – what happens when two people truly ‘click’ – predicts the communication success two people can have.
The Matching Principle - Effective communication requires recognising what kind of conversation is occurring and then matching each other. The ‘matching principle’ is where people pick up and reflect back the subtle shifts in people’s moods and attitudes; shifts that are commonly displayed through a person’s body language and tone of voice. ‘How’ people communicate is as important as ’what’ is being said.
The most effective communicators pause before speaking.
They ask themselves, “why am I opening my mouth?”.
Unless we know what kind of discussion we’re hoping for – and what type of discussion our companions want – we’re at a disadvantage. Before speaking, take a moment to clarify what you hope to say, and how you want to say it.
We all send clues as we speak and listen about what kind of conversation we want. Supercommunicators notice these clues and think a bit harder about where they hope the conversation will go. Once we are alignedin a conversation, our minds become more open to what others have to say.

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